Friday, April 01, 2011

Basking in the glow of Friday.

All of us have had colds this week, so we've been trying to take it easy and hang around the house. Today I am thankful that it's Friday and that we're headed into the weekend. Other than the colds and resulting lack of sleep, this week has been generally good. David and I started our marriage coaching on Wednesday evening and I'm really hopeful that it will help us communicate better. There is going to be a lot of focus on making statements that are non-accusatory, but rather convey how each of us feels. We'll also be focusing on active listening and trying to really understand where each of us is coming from as issues arise.

As part of our homework for the marriage coaching, we're reading a book called Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. I'm definitely finding some of the principles to be useful. The main premise of the book is that men need respect and women need love. God commands men to love their wives as Christ loved the church as it commands women to respect their husbands. That's something we don't hear very much, so I think that, in general, it is good to keep in mind. I can easily see how important it is to use a respectful tone when I am bringing issues up to my husband, and to tell him what I appreciate about him on a regular basis. I know I don't do either of those things very well when I get in my "mommy needs to get things done" mode. It's too easy to let things slide. So, although there are things I do not like about the book (I feel that so far it's too focused on everything being the wife's fault), there are still some things I'll take from it and work on in myself. I do feel that the marriage team material has a much more balanced approach to helping both partners work towards a better relationship, so it should be really beneficial.

Are there any books you have found useful in your own relationships? I'd love to hear more.


Hannah said...

We both really like the For Men Only and For Women only books. His Needs, Her Needs was another one we liked.

Purple_Kangaroo said...

We like "Families Where Grace is in Place" by Jeff VanVonderen. It deals with both marriage and parenting.

Laura P said...

I read Love and Respect also. I thought it had some very good and valid points, but I also felt that it was really more about it being the woman's fault, more than the man's. It was a little irritating, to be honest. BUT, truth is sometimes us women are so defensive and so demanding of respect for ourselves that we aren't very nice to our husbands. If my husband said some of the things to me that I say to himw hen I get angry it'd ON LIKE DONKEY KONG! LoL. Good luck with your homework :).

Rebecca said...

You're right about that!