Sad News

Sweet Emma found out yesterday that she lost her twins. She needs lots of (((hugs))).

A person's a person no matter how small.

Finally

I am getting around to putting some pictures on here after moving. Never again will I try to move right before Christmas... unless I have no choice in the matter.

First off, here we are at my in-laws' house a couple of weeks ago after a wedding we went to. Actually the wedding was missed because I misread the time. We only got to the reception. Don't mind the red-eye!



My new nephew Coen James:



Here he is with his mommy yesterday:



Here is our tree:



Dorothy mesmerized by the tree:



Kaily's ornaments:



Dorothy's ornaments:



And, last but not least, Dorothy "talking":

Coupon

As I said a few days ago, I won that contest for my sister. She got $100 to spend at IGIGI. I went on the website and there are so many cute clothes there. So if any of y'all are needing some nice clothes starting at size 14, here's a coupon for 10% off your purchase. Just use the coupon code:) I tried to get this up the other day, but for some reason the image wouldn't upload right. I'm planning on getting some good pics up here for you tomorrow... our tree, the baby, my nephew, etc. Pics of the new place by the room will get put up once there are no more boxes everywhere!

Too much

Forgive me for the brief updates, but I am trying to do too many things. After a month of blogging every day I was really in the swing. But moving with a new baby has made it a bit difficult to focus on anything else. I am trying to do my Christmas baking and am going to have to just buck up and put my Christmas tree up in an apartment that still needs some work. Otherwise there will be no tree; and, well, we can't have that, can we? That's just un-american.

Today just happens to be out second anniversary, too. We're going to celebrate tonight, but I have no idea what we'll do. Most likely a glass or two of wine will be consumed and maybe we'll find something nice and festive (and cheap) to do in the city.

And really. One of these days I will get picturtes on here. I promise.

Well, then....

Mark down last weekend as the craziest in history.

The good news is that Dorothy and I are both feeling better.

The better news is that we got moved in one day, minus the cleaning of the old house(and my sister didn't go into labor until the day after we got the bulk of the moving done).

The better news still is that I won the contest for my sister. Remember that $100 gift card contest? Yeah, I got it!

The best news yet is that I have a new nephew, pictures to come later. I am neglecting my unpacking today to spend the day with them. I know. Bad me.

This weekend I must do my Christmas baking and more unpacking. But my kitchen is mostly done, as is the bathroom. Dorothy's room still needs the furniture to be arranged, but most of her stuff was either in bags or drawers, so her room will be easy to unpack. Hopefully I will get our Christmas tree up soon, too. Whew. I am so glad last weekend is over.

Yep

Still plugging away at the packing. We've gotten a lot done.

I'm so tired that I cracked an egg and instead of plopping it in to the bowl, I plopped it right into one of the compartments in the egg carton. David asked me if I was preggo.

I just call it "moving brain".

Not working so well....

Have you ever tried...

Packing up the kitchen

Feeding a baby

Caring for a fussy baby with a cold

Pumping every 2-3 hours

Washing and folding 5 loads of laundry

Washing all the dishes

Cooking 3 square meals for two

Hauling an old bed and dryer away

Having someone pick up your old washer

Going to the post office to mail a package because you are so hairbrained that you forgot the itty bitty part that goes on the breastpump that you sold on ebay and now you have to mail it separately so basically you get paid nothing for a $40 pump that was only used for a week...?

All. In. One. Day.

Boys and girls, do not try this at home.

*add: taking sick baby to doctor at 1:30. Just thought maybe I didn't have enough going on*

Three months, baby girl

My sweet Dorothy,

Today you are three months old. It's hard to believe that three months ago right now I was waiting for you to come into the world. Now it feels like you have always been here. You were meant to be a part of this family, and I am so thankful for every morning that you wake up happy and healthy.

You are growing so fast! I can't believe how big you're getting. It's like you change every day as time is slipping by. You still love your bath time. Pretty soon you'll be outgrowing that little tub, though;)



You continue to give us big grins. Diaper changing has become social time as you coo and blow raspberries at us. We're still waiting for the giggles sometime soon.



You've gotten to know your cousins better this month. Sometimes they even think you're a toy to play with. After all, you DO fit in the doll's stroller.



You had your first Thanksgiving with everyone. Last year at this time Mommy was so sad and wishing for you to come into her life. Now here you are, and I couldn't be happier. You have brought me so much joy already.



I can't wait to see what the next month has in store for you. Keep growing strong, sweet girl!

Love,
Mommy

No more NABLOPOMO

November was a good month of blogging. I managed to get a post in every day, although some of them were pathetic excuses for entries. Nonetheless, I DID post every day even though somehow I didn't officially get put on the list of participants. I think it was because I was a day late getting my name in there. Ah, well. It was the motivation I needed to get to posting more frequently.

This is officially moving week. We don't actually get the keys until Friday, and the bulk of the moving will be done on Saturday. My week will consist of packing. Oh, yeah, baby. We have to be completely cleared out and have our keys turned in by Sunday night. I only have 6 more Christmas cards to write and they will all get sent out tomorrow if I can get my butt out the door and to the post office in the morning.

At some point there will be a day or two of lapse in our internet, so just expect that with everything going on, I won't likely be writing anything next weekend. Hopefully I will get back in the groove once we get settled. The idea is to be as organized as possible while I am packing so that the unpacking will be easier and quicker. I packed the first few boxes today, labeling what was in the boxes and what room I want them put in when we get to the new place. What would be really nice is to have a bunch of people helping us on Saturday and then have an unpacking party with a few friends sometime next week. Somewhere in the mix of the next couple of weeks throw in my sister having her baby. Sheesh!

One good thing is that the night I am singing 6 songs (crazy me for saying yes to this right now) will be an ok night as far as I can tell. My set of music is earlier in the evening so I can sing and get home at a decent hour to get up for worship practice in the morning. It will be a week after the move, so most of the important unpacking will be done already *crosses fingers*. Practice for those songs will be tomorrow evening to get it done with so I can focus on packing this week. While I pack I will put the songs on repeat that I am going to be singing. I'll just sing them while I pack to get ready:) That should work well. And I don't have to have those songs memorized, so that's another plus.

I can tell how frazzled and overextended I am by my brain. It has ceased to function correctly. I have always been anally perfectionistic and organized. Everything is always just so. I never used an organizer/day planner until recently because I could keep 20 things in my brain and still remember the times and dates for all of them. Not this weekend. A good friend of mine (Cheri's daughter) got married yesterday and I thought the wedding was at 2:00. In fact, I was convinced it was at 2:00. Guess what?? It wasn't. It was at 1:00. I could have kicked myself. But we did make it to the reception, where I saw another friend who recently had her 25th wedding celebration. They realized after the invitations were sent out that it was their 24th wedding anniversary, but decided to have the party anyway. Heh, that's my kind of woman. My father-in-law asked me if she was my mentor. I said, "Sure! Why do you think we get along so well?" At least one good thing is I will never rely on my mind again. I will always double check and always write things down.

Off to do some more packing.

And baking of some cookies. One always needs peanut butter chocolate chip in the midst of chaos.

Results are in...

Dorothy is officially cute.

Ebay

My diaper sold. For a whopping dollar and fifty cents. Minus the listing fees, I made 65 cents. I think I might have to up my starting bid if I want to make anything. The first few diapers I don't mind taking a loss on because I want to get some feedback on there that I am an honest seller and that I ship things out promptly. I also sold 3 sets of bottles and a manual breast pump. Hopefully after the holidays and unpacking, I can really get going on the diaper sewing venture. I have some really cute fabric to work with now.

I'm going to the mall today. I get a free sitting fee and free 8x10 of Dorothy. She'll be dressed up in her sweet little Christmas dress. If she's not a grumpyhead, we should get some cute shots. Most likely I won't be able to resist some wallets in addition to the 8x10.

Blogging for Clothes

Shh... this post is a secret. For my sister.

My beloved younger sister Jenni is having a baby sometime really soon. In fact, she's 38 weeks pregnant with her little boy tomorrow. Over at Crazy Hip Blog Mamas there is a contest going on where IGIGI is offering 3 $100 gift certificates for lovely plus size clothing. You can go to Ozlem's MySpace page to find out why she works for IGIGI. Her philosophy is right on. Being that I am not plus sized, I thought I wasn't going to enter. Then I thought about it more. There's no reason I can't enter for Jen.

So I am.

When we were growing up, our family didn't have a lot of money. New clothes were few and far between for my brother, my sister, and me. Thrift stores were a family favorite, even more so the dollar bin at Goodwill. There were many times that I looked in envy at kids that could afford to wear name brand clothing. Don't get me wrong. For the most part, my childhood was happy. Much of the time I couldn't have cared less where my clothes came from. After all, we were clothed, fed, and loved. A kid doesn't really need anything more, in my opinion. Much of the US would disagree, but I stand my ground.

But there were times where it effected me (as well as my sister, I'm sure). I remember several times during catty girl fights (who doesn't have those in grade school??) where my friends would throw it in my face how I would kill to have an outfit like that. That I would give anything to be able to dress like others did. More often than I'd like to recall, things like this were said, as if to say, 'you're not adequate the way you are,' or 'how much more of a nerd could you be?' To a certain extent, I am still effected by those kinds of comments. When I go out I try to look as nice as possible, though my life is still lived on a very limited budget and most of the clothes I buy new are bought for me by someone else.

My sister had an even more difficult time finding clothes because of struggling with her weight as a child. Imagine trying to find flattering clothing for an overweight child in a thrift store. Not really happening. She had an underactive thyroid starting when she was about 7, which made it challenging to stay at an average weight. In fact, she never was an average weight as a child. It wasn't until she went away to college that the pounds began to come off. She exercized, ate well, and learned that taking her thyroid meds at a certain time of day would cause them to be more effective. Those 3 simple things helped her to lose about 50 pounds. She really looked like a different person when I saw her after months of being apart. I also saw that the weight loss helped with her confidence level. She became more outgoing, and more secure in who she was as a person. Now she dresses very nice, even when her weight fluctuates. She is the most beautiful person I know. That's the reason I'm entering this contest for her... because I want her to know it.

I want her to feel beautiful after she has her baby, even with those extra pregnancy pounds. This Christmas is going to be full of wonderful memories for her, and I want her to be able to look smashing on Christmas in a brand new outfit. So, wish me (her) luck. Only 3 winners!



There she is in the middle, about 18 weeks pregnant (before she had a HUGE cyst removed from her fallopian tube). Isn't she cute????

Health care, schmealth care...

Looks like we're probably going to switch insurances. Which means when I get pregnant, I have to look for a new peri. I do not feel secure this way. In fact, I feel like I am being thrown to the wolves. How do I choose who to go to? How do I know they are going to treat me the same as my other dr.? Will they do the weekly ultrasounds and progesterone shots? Will they give me anti-contraction meds earlier like Dr. F did for me? My worry is probably unfounded, as I'm sure there are good perinatologists out there that are not Kaiser docs. But I don't want another dr. Wah. Whiney baby, I know.

I'll shut up, now.

Deja Vu

Today we had Thanksgiving all over again. I stayed home from church (didn't figure anyone wanted to sit in front of someone who was coughing) and cooked a nice turkey dinner with all the fixins. The turkey turned out lovely even though it had been a few years since I cooked one. Usually it's the parents who cook the big meals on Thanksgiving. But this year the gleaning program we take part in was given 100 turkeys by one of their donators. Since we don't buy meat very often, it was great to cook up a big bird in the oven, stuffing and all.

We had a lot left over so I was able to save enough for some sandwiches and put the rest in freezer bags to use in soups or casseroles later. I might try some turkey enchiladas to see if they taste as good as the chicken ones I make. Maybe I'll start to post some of my favorite recipes. Cooking is something I have always enjoyed, and now that I am recovered from childbirth I'm getting back into the groove. Cooking on a budget is challenging sometimes, but Gleaner's has changed that in a big way for us.

We pay $40 a month, which goes toward the cost of operation and renting the warehouse. It's really amazing how the whole organization started. If you go to the link I posted above, you'll be able to read the story. In addition to the dues, there is also a requirement to volunteer 2 hours a month. There is always an abundance of food donated. A lot of it is close to the date or just past it, but as long as you use it quickly or freeze it, it's not an issue. Sometimes there is something wrong with the package, like the box of cereal has been ripped in a spot, but the bag is still fine. I found some baby formula there that is still 6 months from being expired. And baby juices and jars of food that are still good for at least that long.

This program helps us immensely. Not only is there food, but people bring their clothes to donate instead of taking them to a thrift store. I have found clothes for all of us there. Danner boots also brings their returned items, most of which have no visible flaws and have only been worn once or twice. Danner boots are nice. And those turkeys someone donated? They were still frozen, and months from the sell by date. Somebody just donated them so that people who wouldn't normally be able to buy one could take one home. I was extra thankful this Thanksgiving.

Of course, I have to be. How could I not??

Winter

I am really excited about it being almost December already, though to tell the truth I'm a little bit overwhelmed. I have a lot of music to practice and memorize, gifts to work on (I think I am just going to bake some cookies and give pictures), packing for our move in two weeks, the list just goes on. Why oh why do I over-extend myself. I just hate saying no. Get some backbone, Becci.

Actually, I am a lot better on that front than I used to be. I was practically a doormat for a long time. But I do have many more boundaries nowadays. Sometimes I just overestimate what I have time for. Aaaand I really do still hate to say no to people. But nonetheless I have a performance coming up in which I have to work up six songs (the last thing I said yes to). The thing is, I didn't know until Tuesday that all the songs we're singing for church choir have to be memorized within the next couple of weeks. For some reason I thought we were going to have the music in front of us. Not to mention that one of them I have a solo on. How am I going to do all this practicing, AND work on moving, AND get my thank you notes done (from 4 different baby showers), AND finish baby announcements (who ever thought of announcements being customary for a new mother should be shot), AND get ready for Christmas? And sometime in the next few weeks my sister is having her baby.

In fact, today was her baby shower, and it went quite well. We played a game (I won) in which there were 5 different mini candy bars melted and smashed into 5 different diapers and we all had to guess which diaper held which candy bar. It was amusing passing these diapers around and watching everyone stare and sniff and so-forth. All that sniffing paid off for me! I got a Christmas mug full of chocolate. Who could complain about that?

On another topic, I promised myself I wouldn't venture out to shop yesterday, but in the end I couldn't resist. All the fabric and Fabric Depot was 30% off. The fabric at Wal Mart is still cheaper even when it's not on sale, so I went there to get some cute flannel prints for the outside of my dipes. But for the inside part I opted for Fabric Depot's diaper flannel. Great stuff. And they had some elastic that tickled my fancy. Plus their scissors were 50% off and if I really am going to do all this sewing.... well, of course I'll need a good pair of fabric scissors. So I'm set to make a lot of new diapers now. Hopefully they sell alright. If not, I guess Dorothy will be well-diapered!

Dorothy's First Thanksgiving

Our day was good yesterday. I did end up coming down with that cold, but the good thing is that I was still able to sing on Wednesday night for church. Not without downing a bunch of water and sucking on cough drops, but still.

Dorothy slept a good 10 hours, getting up at 7 am. We decided to stay up at that point, but pretty much lazed about the house until it was time to go at 11. We headed over to David's parents' house and hung out there for a few hours before dinner. We got a family picture around 11:45 when my mom came down (our parents live about 5 blocks from each other). Getting the kids to be reasonably content while mom snapped a few photos was the challenge. This is the best one of about 5 pictures.


We got one of me and Dorothy, too. As you can see, she spit up all over the front of herself (and me) right before the pics. Her overalls are all wet:)


After that we all played on Daniel's new Nintendo Wii. Bowling was by far my best game, as I bowled one game with a score of 218! That's a far cry better than my score of 60-some when I do real bowling. Blech, I am HORRIBLE at bowling in real life. I'll stick with video bowling, thank you very much!

Dinner was good, but a bit later than we hoped because the turkey had problems defrosting in time. Turns out that the whole inside of the bird wasn't done at all! Good thing we only ate off the outside of the breasts (heh, I said breasts) as well as (of course) eating the drumsticks (always my personal favorite part of the bird).

Shortly after dinner we headed up to my parents' house, where, you guessed it, we played on another Wii. This time it was my sister and brother-in-law's Wii. MY brother brought the controller from his new Wii. David feels left out because we can't afford to dole out the $250 for him to get a Wii. But I think there's enough of them to go around. After a nice dessert of none other than pumpkin pie, the guys played some games on their Nintendo DS'. We do have one of those, as it occupied my time while I was on bedrest.

My mom got to spend some quality time with Dorothy.


My brother's girls were (as usual) hamming it up the whole night.


At one point I looked over at Rylie and thought I was seeing things, as her little hiney was sitting right on top of a tiny doll's chair.


One thing I was concerned about yesterday when I was looking through the pictures... I think Dorothy may be a bit on the small side;)


I hope she's ok... maybe that Thanksgiving milk will fatten her up a bit!

Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving!!

A Thanksgiving Cookbook
by Mrs. Geraghty's Kindergarten Class

NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be reponsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook.

Ivette - Banana Pie
You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it.

Russell - Turkey
You cut the turkey up and put it in the oven for ten minutes and 300 degrees. You put gravy on it and eat it.

Geremy - Turkey
You buy the turkey and take the paper off. Then you put it in the refrigerator and take it back out and cut it with a knife and make sure all the wires are out and take out the neck and heart. Then you put it in a big pan and cook it for half an hour at 80 degrees. Then you invite people over and eat.

Andrew - Pizza
Buy some dough, some cheese and pepperoni. Then you cook it for 10 hours at 5 degrees. Then you eat it.

Shelby - Applesauce
Go to the store and buy some apples, and then you squish them up. Then you put them in a jar that says, "Applesauce". Then you eat it.

Meghan H. - Turkey
You cut it into 16 pieces and then you leave it in the oven for 15 minutes and 4 degrees. you take it out and let it cool and then after 5 minutes, then you eat it.

Danny - Turkey
You put some salt on it to make it taste good. Then you put it in the oven. Then you cook it for an hour at 5 degrees. Then you eat it.

Brandon - Turkey
First you buy it at Fred Meyer. Then you cut it up and cook it for 15 hours at 200 degrees. Then you take it out and eat it.

Megan K - Chicken
You put it in the oven for 25 minutes and 25 degrees and put gravy on it and eat it.

Christa - Cookies
Buy some dough and smash it and cut them out. Then put them in the oven for 2 hours at 100 degrees. Then take them out and dry them off. Then it's time to eat them.

Irene - Turkey
Put it on a plate and put it in the oven with gravy. You cook it for 1 minute and for 100 degrees. Then it's all cooked. Your mom or dad cuts it and then eat.

Moriah - Turkey
First you cut the bones out. Then you put it in the oven for 10 hours at 600 degrees. Then you put it on the table and eat it.

Vincent - Turkey
You cut and put sauce on it. Then you cook it for 18 minutes at 19 degrees. Then you eat it with stuffing.

Jordyn - Turkey
First you have to cut it up and put it on a plate in the oven for 9 minutes and 18 degrees. Then you dig it out of the oven and eat it.

Grace - Turkey
First you add some salt. Then you put it in a bowl. Then you put brown sugar on it. Then you mix it all together with a spoon and then you add some milk and mix it again. And then you put it in a pan. Then you put it in the oven for 15 minutes and 16 degrees. Then you take it out of the oven and then you eat it.

Alan - Turkey
First you shoot it and then you cut it. And then you put it in the oven and cook it for 10 minutes and 20 degrees. You put it on plates and then you eat it.

Jordan Salvatore - Turkey
First you put it in the oven for 15 minutes at 100 degrees. Then you cut it up and then you eat it.

Jordan Simons - Chocolate Pudding
Buy some chocolate pudding mix. Then you add the milk. Then you add the pudding mix. Then you stir it. Then you put it in the refrigerator and wait for it to get hard. Then you eat it.

Whitney - Turkey
Cut it and put it in the oven for 50 minutes at 60 degrees and then you eat it.

Jason - Chicken Pie
Put the chicken in the pot and put the salad and cheese and mustard and then you mix it all together. Then put chicken sauce and stir it all around again. Then you cook it for 5 minutes at 9 degrees. Then you eat it.

Christopher - Pumpkin Pie
First you buy a pumpkin and smash it. Then it is all done. And you cook it in the oven for 12 minutes and 4 degrees. Then you eat it.

Christine - Turkey
First you buy the turkey. Then you cook it for 5 hours and 5 degrees. Then you cut it up and you eat it.

Ashley - Chicken
Put it in the oven. Then cut it up. Then I eat it.

Jennie - Corn
My mom buys it. Then you throw it. Then you cook it. Then you eat it.

Jordan - Cranberry Pie
Put cranberry juice in it. Then you put berries in it. Then you put dough in it. Then you bake it. Then you eat it.

Adam - Pumpkin Pie
First you put pumpkin seeds in it. Put it in a pan and bake it at 5 degrees for 6 minutes. Then take it out and eat it.

Jarryd - Deer Jerky
Put it in the oven overnight at 20 degrees. Then you go hunting and bring it with you. Then you eat it.

Christina - Turkey
Get the turkey. Put it in the oven. Cook it for 43 minutes at 35 degrees. Put it on a plate, cut it up, then eat it.

Joplyn - Apple Pie
Take some apples, mash them up. Take some bread and make a pie with it. Get some dough and squish it. Shape the dough into a pie shape. Put the apples in it. Then bake it at 9 degrees for 15 minutes.

Isabelle - Spaghetti
Put those red things in it. Then put the spaghetti in it. Then cook it in the oven for 2 minutes at 8 degrees.

Bailey - Chicken
Put pepper and spices on it. Cook for one hour at 60 degrees. Then eat it.

Nicholas - White and Brown Pudding
First you read the wrapper. Get a piece of water. Stir. Then you eat it.

Sean - Turkey
Put it in the oven for 5 minutes at 55 degrees. Take it out and eat it.

Lauren - Turkey
First you find a turkey and kill it. Cut it open. Put it in a pan. Pour milk in the pan. Put a little chicken with it. Put salsa on it. Take out of pan. Put it on the board. Cut into little pieces. Put on a rack. Put in the oven for 7 minutes at 10 degrees. Take out of the oven and put eensy weensy bit of sugar on it. Put a little more salsa on it. Then you eat it.

Olivia - Corn
Get hot water and put on stove. Wait for 8 minutes. Put corn in. Then put it on a plate. Then eat.

Siera - Pumpkin Pie
Get some pumpkin and dough for the crust. Get pumpkin pie cinnamon. Cook it for 20 minutes at 10 degrees.

Kayla - Turkey
Buy it. Take it home. Then you cook it. Put it in the oven for 1 hour. Take it out of the oven. Put it on a plate. Then you eat it.

Tommy - Pumpkin
Cook the pumpkin. Then get ready to eat the pumpkin.

Wai - Pumpkin Pie
Get a pumpkin. Cook it. Eat it.

Wishy Washy

Did anyone ever notice that a stay-at-home-mom's job consists of mainly one thing? For some odd reason the thought never crossed my mind until today.

This one thing is all-consuming. It is never-ending. It is done on a variety of levels.

It is....

Washing stuff.

The clothes, the dishes, the baby's butt, the baby's body (carefully washing between the pudgy rolls), the baby's bibs and burp-cloths, the bed sheets, the floor, the bathroom, the bottles, the pump parts, the windows, (dusting) the furniture, occasionally the car, and finally (if we're lucky) a shower sometime mid-afternoon. For us lucky cloth diapering moms, diapers are added in to the mix as well:)

I thought of this while on the phone with David and he asked me what I was doing. At the time I had a load of dishes in the dishwasher. A load of diapers was in the machine. The bottles were in the drying rack. Everything I have done so far today (besides list a few more items on ebay) consisted of washing something. Go me.

In addition to all of the washing (God help me) I am trying to fight off this cold I have been trying to get. All I need to do is fight it until tonight after church when I am done singing in the trio. Here's to success.

And happy washing to all!

Sup Dawg?

I listed my first diaper today on Ebay. See!
Wish me luck!

Cancer is evil

Today I went to visit my friend Cheri, who has been battling cancer for a couple of years. Her cancer is very agressive. They have had to remove cancer from several bones, including her jaw, which they had to remove half of back in June. They replaced the bone with bone from the leg that she hadn't had an operation on. The other hip had been totally replaced last December. She has had several rounds of radiation, and when they found cancer in her soft tissue, they decided to try chemo. Originally they didn't because chemo hadn't been found to help the kind of cancer that she has. Until it was found in her lung. A couple years ago, she was a healthy, vibrant, non-smoking early 40's mom. Seeing her today was so hard. Not because she seemed any different to me; she's the same Cheri to me. But she looked so weary. Not just physically. Her face is much altered from the surgery, therefore her speech is different than it used to be. Her hair is now falling out due to the chemo. Cancer sucks. Her daughter is getting married in two weeks and it's an answer to prayer that she made it this far. We're still praying for a miracle. I'm so happy that Cheri got to meet my precious baby, it meant so much to me. And I think it brightened her day, too.

I don't think I've mentioned the fact that we're moving in a few weeks. December 9th to be exact. We're moving to an apartment about a mile from where David works, so it will definitely be more convenient for him. Plus saving us gas money is a biggie, too. Not to mention that our heating oil bill is, frankly, outrageous. I'm tired of paying so much for the oil with a small house that is so inefficient at holding in the heat that we pay $165 a month all. year. round. Ridiculous! I'm glad to be moving off the busy street where I won't have to hold a pillow over my head to get to sleep. I'd better not be here tomorrow when they show the house to a prospective tenant. I'll tell them to run for the hills:)

Time to wind down for the evening. With an eggnog with a splash of rum and an episode or two of 24. Nighty-night.

Hit the Hay

Well, I've had a long and busy day, so the blogging fell by the wayside. No interesting entries for today, just something so I can say I posted today. Can't break my streak this far into the month!

Bloggity Blog

I'm not feeling very bloggity today.

Some of the things I want to write about are difficult: the grief of loss; the feeling that true healing will never really come; the feeling in the pit of your stomach when you hear a friend or family member say, "guess what?!" and you know what's coming next. Not because you don't want happiness for your loved one. Or anyone else for that matter. Nobody would wish something as horrible as losing a baby on someone else. Ever.

But that pit-of-the-stomach feeling? To be honest, I still get that sometimes. And I have my sweet baby. But not my first one. Not a day goes by that I don't think of what she would look like. Would she have been chubby like Dorothy? Would she have looked less like me and more like David? Would there not be the feeling of dread instead of excitement at a pregnancy announcement even though I have a baby in my arms now if I hadn't lost her? I knew she couldn't be replaced. So, why am I so surprised that I still have the same feelings popping to the surface?

I remember all too well the first weeks after Kaily was born. The regret over not THINKING enough to ask to see and hold her. The nights that would drag on. Waking up only to remember, 'that's right. I'm not pregnant any more.' Crying so hard, but still feeling like no tears would ever be enough. Screaming at the top of my lungs when nobody was around just to feel like I was doing something with it all. At the time I felt like nobody could understand it. And to tell you the truth, sometimes I still feel that way. Because we all have our own journey even if similar things happen to some of us. We'll NEVER know just exactly how the other person feels.

In talking with someone from church last week, I was floored. I tried not to show my reaction on the outside, but I don't know how successful I was. We were talking about that difficult time last year and how she was praying for me. She proceeded to talk about all the single older ladies that never even got the chance to even try to get pregnant and how at least I had that chance. Not to minimize my pain or anything. I get that. I really do. There is a lot of grief in never having a partner in this life. In going to bed alone every night. In losing the hope of having children. I am blessed and thankful that I'm not in that situation. But there is a dark, dark grief in losing a child that changes a person. I really think that kind of grief is different than losing the idea of having a child (call me naive if you want to). Maybe I am totally off in left field with this one.

Some people it changes for the better. Hopefully, I am one of those people. But there are parts of me that are still envious of people that can just get pregnant and have fun planning and getting things ready. People who can plan their family without thinking how they'll care for their child when they have to lay in bed for 5 months. People who don't have to think of getting their tubes tied after their first or second child because of how taxing a pregnancy could become, especially the thought that there is no guarantee that the next one would go as well as the previous one.

Those people don't have to freak out in their minds about their insurance premiums going up and having to switch insurances because an extra $50 a week isn't in the budget. They would find another Dr. and move on with it. The first thing that went through my mind was "What if I get pregnant?? Who is going to be my doctor? Will they take the same good care of me as Dr. F? Will I lose another child?" Truthfully, I don't even want to get pregnant again if I can't have Dr. F. But how badly I want to be pregnant again, to have another child. I wanted 6 kids before all of this. That dream died hard and fast.

So, can't I at least have one more???

I can't lose another baby.

That's why I'm making diapers......

THE DIAPER

Nice little side view

From the top

Wide open

What do you think?

OK ,Then.

I switched to Blogger Beta today. I haven't done anything new with it, but it does look like there are some more options to play around with.

I spent a lot of the day sewing diapers. I am going to have to sew a lot to make much, but anything at this point is going to help. I think I have perfected my fitted diaper pattern. I have made a few changes and am keeping all of the different versions to use on Dorothy to find out which one is going to work the best. Whichever one I like the most (I have a feeling it will be the last one I made) will be the one I try to sell on ebay first. I wanted to take a picture of it, but the camera is in David's pocket, so the picture will have to wait. I'm also putting them through a few runs in the washer to test how well they hold up.

Well, I have a lot of things I could post about, but I have to go pump. Again.

Beta???

What is it about Blogger Beta?

Every time I try to log in and write a new post I am bombarded with the option to switch. I really don't feel the need. I'm wondering... are they trying to phase out the old Blogger in exchange for the new? Is there something about the old Blogger that is so far inferior that everyone must switch? And do it now? Or else?

Moving on.

I got a package today. I won a bid on Ebay for some Playtex bottles with the drop-in liners. The 8 oz bottles are about 5-6 dollars new. I got 8 of them. I also got 5 of the 4 0z bottles that I am going to try to sell because I don't need them. In addition I got 2 very partially used boxes of liners (a box of 50 and a box of 100) and one unopened box of 100 liners. All this I won for $19.50. Plus shipping. I'd say that's a pretty sweet deal! I do have to go buy the nipples, but other than that we're set for quite a while. Snap!

Ebay is my new best friend, by the way. I ordered a scale to weigh my hundreds of packages so I can estimate how much shipping is going to be. I have several things I want to sell right now that have nothing to do with cloth diapers, among which are 3 different kinds of bottles we've tried that are never going to get used because I just got the motherload of the bottles that I love. I'm going to be a millionaire, I feel for sure. I'd better be because the amount that gets taken out of Daivd's check for healthcare just went from $39 a week to $85 a week. Can they really do that? I protest.

To my utter dismay, I almost forgot to blog today. Silly me. Daivd called to tell me that I didn't write an entry. I was all, "yes, I did!" I was convinced that the entry I wrote last night was actually one that I had written this morning. Mommy brain kicking in big time. Maybe that's why I have 1,000 things to say and can't seem to put any of them to writing. Perhaps that's why I'm sitting here eating burnt Kettle Corn and writing this lame excuse for a post when I could be sleeping.

Could be.

Orange

Thanks to my friend PK over at the Purple Puzzle Place, we have now started naming Dorothy's mood in colors. If you read this post, you can find the details of which color represents which mood.

David has been best friends with PK's husband for many years. Their two girls (now they have three) were flower girls in our wedding. I think that PK and I could have a really great friendship; it would just take some motivation to get myself out of the house once in a while to make it over there for visits. It can be difficult to schedule a time for all of us to do something. Often, one of the kids ends up getting a cold or something so it ends up being postponed.

We were finally able to make it over to their house for dinner and games the other night (after trying to plan something since Dorothy's birth). But somebody was in an orange mood all evening. Dorothy had been crying pretty much all day when she wasn't sleeping. This continued into the evening, getting seemingly worse as it got later. I would say that some moments during the day she was bordering on parts of red. PK rocked and held Dorothy to give me a bit of a break. Baby E seemed to really like seeing Dorothy, and even "held" her for a while. Here you can see orange fully demonstrated. Poor baby.

In spite of the fussiness, we had a great time. Dinner was awesome! I tasted lamb chops for the first time in a very tasty sauce. We also had vegetables roasted in olive oil, and potatoes roasted with garlic and dill. For dessert we had some special cookies free of dairy and egg, due to allergies in the PK family.

After dinner we played a round of Kill Doctor Lucky, a sort of reverse Clue, where instead of trying to solve the murder, everyone is trying to commit the murder without anyone else being able to see them. After the game was over we went home and put Dorothy right to bed. She slept pretty much all of that night and right on through Sunday afternoon, only waking up for necessities such as eating and pooping. I guess she wore herself out crying all day on Saturday:)

Phew!!

I made it. It's 10:14pm and I am posting today.

I am embarking on a new adventure. An adventure in designing and sewing cloth diapers in hopes that people will come flocking to EBay to buy them...

ok.

So maybe not flocking.

I have been toying with the idea of doing this for a while now; I even thought of it while I was still pregnant with Dorothy. I've always been creative. Artsy-fartsy some would say. This sort of thing would be just the right fit for me. Something my non-college-edumacated self could do AT HOME to make a bit of money. That's the hope, anyway.

I went to Wal Mart last night to look at some fabric. I got mostly flannel (a few different prints) and two yards of a stretchy terry-cloth. I am borrowing my mother-in-law's frighteningly expensive Baby Lock sewing machine that she doesn't have time to use, on which to practice away at several different diaper patterns that I'm working on. I've done some (ok, a lot) research on diaper sewing how-to websites. Let me tell you, there are a lot of them out there. And let me tell you another thing. People sell their dipes on EBay all. the. time.

I will be just one among many. But I think by being creative with my ideas I can do a good job with this. Already (after making two of them) my fitted cloth diaper fits quite well.

No, not me, silly. Dorothy.

I kind of patterned it after a disposable I had and tweaked it somewhat. It ended up fitting very much the same, so I think I'll try to hunt down some "sposies" in each size and do the same for those patters.

I have already made a beautiful black and white paisley prefold out of flannel in the newborn size. I have also been trying to draft a good pattern for a contour diaper. Interestingly, it is more challenging than the fitted one, though the sewing takes less time. My goal is to make them as fun and bright as possible.

Then maybe people will want to try them out even though I have never once sold anything on EBay, so I don't have any positive feedback on what a wonderful seller I am and how amazing my diapers are. But they will be.

If I make them, they will come.

Green Bean Surprise

We had a bit of a scare on Wednesday with a can of green beans.

We had just finished lunch and I went to rinse out and recycle the can that we had just eaten green beans out of. I noticed that there were rust spots under the label. Then I looked on the inside of the can. The rust had gone to the inside of the can (not a lot, but enough to freak me out). Immediately my mind went to horror stories of botulism. I made David call poison control to make sure we weren't going to croak on the spot. Call me dramatic. I don't care.

For the next few days I pumped and froze my milk, using previously frozen milk to feed the baby. What if my milk had *gasp* BACTERIA??

I thought of writing an "if I die tonight" post, but I thought that might be a bit extreme;)

Obviously we're alive and kicking.

Book Club

A bit more than a year ago I joined a book club. I have always enjoyed reading and writing, but had never been in a book club. In fact, I didn't really know anything about a book club other than that you read books. Duh.

Well, my sister-in-law was in this book club and she said they needed a couple more members if I would like to join. So, I checked it out and I liked all the ladies that were in it. It is an all-women, all-classics club called the Blue Dot Book Club. For the life of me, I can never remember why in the world it is called that, in spite of being told at least twice, perhaps even three times. If I don't feel too stupid to ask again maybe I'll post it later.

At the beginning of the year each member picks a book for the year and we discuss which month the books will be read in. Each month we read a book and discuss it on the last Tuesday night of the month. The person that has picked the book for that month brings a dessert to share. We start out each meeting with any club business or changes for the next month and then we have a short time where we all share our highs and lows from our lives since we last met. The bulk of the remaining time is usually spent discussing the book and then we break for dessert. After we have eaten, the person who has chosen the book for the next time around will read their author's info.

Depending on the book, the discussions can be very thought-provoking. For instance, last month's book, In Cold Blood, brought up a few issues: the death penalty, insanity pleas, the relationship between the author and one of the murderers, and a few others. The Good Earth was another of my favorites. It is about a fictional Chinese man's life story written by a woman whose parents were missionaries in China. The cultural differences were astounding, as were the things they held as valuable. That book yielded a good discussion as well, as did a book we read about the life of Vincent Van Gogh (though I don't remember at the moment what it is called).

I'm glad I'm in it, for the simple fact that I get some guaranteed adult discussion once in a while. Not to mention I end up reading a lot of books that I might not have read if I wasn't in it. But sometimes I just go for the chocolate. I mean, who can blame me for that?

Goodbye Size 0-3 mo.

A couple of weeks ago I had to switch Dorothy to the next size of clothing. There was a hint of sadness as I folded the little clothes and placed them in paper bags for storage. The jammies had gotten too small and would stretch when she put her legs out straight. The onesies were getting too short (especially with the cloth diapers). Not to mention that I got maybe a dozen summery dresses that she never got to wear because we started getting too many rainy days. What I don't understand is why all brands don't make the sizes go to the same weight. Most of the 0-3 sizes go up to 11 lbs (Dorothy is now almost 12) and some of them go up to 12 or 12 1/2 lbs. Before she was born, when I first started sorting through her clothes, I didn't even know how to sort them. I had to call my sister-in-law and ask her which size to put the 6 month size in. Was it 3-6 or 6-9? One of my favorite things about getting ready for Dorothy was sitting in her room with a big pile of freshly washed baby clothes. I oogled over all the cute outfits imagining what they would look like on her. I held the clothes up to my face and wondered what she would smell like. I love that baby smell (I'm sure I've mentioned that before). I knew she would grow fast, but she has grown even faster than I thought she would. My friend had twins on Saturday and they were 6 lbs each. Looking at Dorothy was so amazing because she was two times their size! And she's only two months old. What a healthy little girl. Although I put her little clothes away with some sadness the other week, I am glad that she's right on track.

And that I get to put her in most of her cutest clothes. Most of the clothes I like best are in the 3-6 mo. size.

And maybe someday I can use them again....

News on the Kitty

I admit, I had a bit of sadness around getting rid of our kitty. I love cats, and I have always wanted a lap kitty to cuddle with. I really thought I had found one. When we first got him he was so tiny and cute.



He would sit on my lap while I blogged and purr his little heart out. But he started to get agressive with us and get in to things he wasn't supposed to:

(going fishing)

(cat and mouse)

(right on key)

(bouncing baby... kitty?)

When we first brought Dorothy home, my mom was here for a few days, so she was able to entertain him a bit.



Stories are told of how he darted through the house in the middle of the night; bouncing off the furniture, eyes glowing and fur puffed up like a puffer fish. This was really our first taste of his wild ways. I think (in hindsight) that it probably was jealousy for our attention. But when I tried to give it to him, he refused it unless he was asleep. He liked the baby well enough, and never did hurt her. Often he could be seen snuggling next to us while she ate her bottle; or cuddling up with her on the bouncy seat (in spite of our best efforts to keep him off).

(just making sure Dorothy is ok during tummy time)

But with the way he was treating us (especially me) I just couldn't take the chance. What if he did suddenly turn on the baby for reasons unknown? So I put out a plea on my blog asking what I should do with him. Not wanting to put him down, I was hoping we could find him a home, but I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to take a cat with a known attitude problem. Until my friend Terri posted a comment saying she wanted to take him home and see how he did. Having 4 older kids, he would have lots of attention. Not to mention there were going to be 2 other cats for him to play with. She thought he would do well at their house, and according to this post she was right. All's well that ends well. I'm just glad he got a good home!

Cloth Diapering

When I thought of having babies I always assumed I would use disposable diapers. I mean, everyone uses disposables. Right?? Imagine my surprise when I started looking in to cloth diapering while I was on pregnancy bedrest and discovered that it made a lot more sense to me. There are so many positives about using cloth that I couldn't resist using them. It sealed the deal when my friend PK gave me some chinese prefolds, fleece liners, Prorap covers and one of her own homemade fitted diapers for my baby shower. I had also gotten some Gerber Birdseye prefolds (not the burp-cloth style) that work in a pinch. There began my *obsession* with cloth diapering. Everywhere I went online, people talked about getting almost fanatic about it. It's easy to do because there are sooo many options out there that make cloth diapering WAY better today than it was when our moms and grandmas did it. My mom used pinned prefolds and plastic pants. I do have some plastic pants, but only use them if my other covers are dirty.

Let me tell you a little bit about what diapers I have right now and which ones I prefer.

By far the easiest diaper I have is the Kushies All-in-one fitted diaper. With this daiper you do not need a cover. It goes on just like a "sposie" and washes just as easily as the diapers that need a cover. It fits up to 21 pounds but I find that the rise is a bit high on her right now. But I like how cute it is and we haven't had any messes in it. It's not my favorite, but it's easy to use and very daddy friendly.



The other kind of fitted diapers I have are one-size (also to 21 pounds) that you need to use a doubler for. These diapers are easy to use, only I think I will prefer them more when she gets big enough that I won't have to fold the front to make it fit (that's what you have to do for the first size). They are quick to dry and they hold in the poops great. This one is a Sweet Cheeks diaper and they do need a cover. This is actually my bulkiest diaper by the time I am done.




The doublers (separate rectangles that give extra absorbancy) that I have are several layers of cotton stitched together. I got them discounted on clothdiaper.com.



My second favorite option is the one that I use most often (simply because I have only purchased one of the Kissaluvs Contours, which are my favorites). This option is almost as easy/quick as using a "sposie", especially when I fold the diapers ahead of time and put them in the covers. As you can see below, it is a chinese prefold diaper that is folded in thirds and put inside a Prorap cover. I then use a fleece liner on top. The cover has elastic and velcro, so it goes on just like a "sposie". I also got some covers that are very comparable to the Proraps (they just run a little bigger) on Ebay from cloth diaper supply (I think that's what it's called anyway)as well as some Diaperaps I got from my brother's wife. All these covers are similar and I now have about 5-6 covers in each size.



By far my favorite diaper is the Kissaluvs Contour, which, as I said, I only have one of so far. It is the SOFTEST diaper I have, made of cotton fleece. It kind of feels like a really soft stretchy terrycloth. It is different from a fitted daiper in that it doesn't have the elastic or the velcro closure, so you do have to pin it or use a snappi so it is a bit more time consuming than some of the other options. The doubler is attached with one stitch down the middle for faster drying time. They come in several sizes and you can also choose to get colors for a dollar more per diaper. The one I have is yellow on the outside. This diaper also needs a cover. I love it.




I prefer to use a liner in my diapers. It makes cleaning a breeze and keeps the moisture off the skin. I have fleece liners. These are easy to make. Just go to Wal Mart and get some microfleece and cut it in to rectangles that are the size you want them. They are very easy to rinse out and most of the poop gets on them rather than on the diaper.



I also have disposable rice paper liners that are even easier than the fleece (though the fleece are softer on the skin). They can be flushed in a city sewer system, but with a septic tank you'd need to shake off the poop and then throw them in the trash. For less walking I chose to use a wipes container. I just line it with a grocery bag and pop the liner in the box. When the poops get bigger I'll switch my method to flush the whole thing (you are supposed to shake off the poops with "sposies" anyway). When the box is full I open the lid, tie off the bag and throw it in the trash.



I have also chosen to use cloth wipes. They are made of very soft flannel stitched along the outside to prevent fraying. Baby washcloths can also be used for this. All I have ever needed to use of these wipes is one versus disposable ones where I often need 2 or 3. They just get thrown in the pail with my diapers.




I store the wipes in a wipes container. They get folded in half and soaked with a solution of one cup water, 1-2 tsp. baby oil and 1-2 tsp. Johnson and Johnson baby wash.



The dirty diapers get put in the washer to soak instead of using a separate wet pail (I also have a dry pail in the room for before they get transfered to the machine). I soak them in water with a bit of Oxyclean (never use chlorine bleach on diapers, it will ruin them). Some people simply use a dry pail where they go straight from the pail to a wash cycle. I prefer to presoak them because I find the stains come out better. Many people don't care about stains because, well, they're diapers, right? This is a personal preference and has nothing to do with how clean they get. When I am ready to do a load of diapers I spin them out and then do a cold/cold wash cycle with a bit of detergent (one without scents, dyes, or fabric softeners). It is usually recommended to use about 1/4 of the amount of detergent you would use when you wash a load of clothing. The first cycle is the cycle I do the covers in, too. After that cycle I take the covers out and line dry them. Then I do another wash cycle in hot/cold with a bit of baking soda, a bit of detergent (I use Kirkland powdered dietergent and it seems to work fine so far), and a little bit of vinegar in the rinse cycle (baking soda and vinegar is optional). Then I do an extra rinse and throw the diapers in the dryer. The whole process really doesn't take that long. It's like doing an extra 2-3 loads of laundry a week and it is well worth the cost difference (and the cuteness factor is a plus) between cloth and disposables. I want to get a sewing machine at a decent price (I need one anyway) and experiment with making my own diapers. If I do, I'll be sure to let you know how it goes. So that's our cloth diapering experience in a nutshell.