Although she went in on Sunday night, the first thing they did was a pill to get her cervix ready for labor. She was not started on the pitocin until Monday morning at around 6 am. Simon was born at 11:47. This picture is about 5 minutes after his birth.
I went back to the hospital later that day (a couple more times). I could not get enough of holding him. He is so tiny and so cute! As much as it has been hard to be around newborns, holding him was wonderful...
I mean, just look at that little face:
The funny thing is, as happy as I am for her, there is still some jealousy in me. I have a feeling that it's pretty normal, but I still feel guilty that I can't simply be happy for the good things in other peoples' lives without thinking about myself. I have been aching to hold a baby... not just any baby, but my baby... since I got pregnant the first time. And even though I am pregnant again now, there is still part of me that can't believe that this is going to turn out with the desired result. I try to push the fear away, but it is there. We are never guaranteed that things are going to turn out the way that we want them to... which scares me. I just want baby Dorothy to get here safe and sound! Of course what I have heard from every mother is that there is always something to worry about.
Last night we went to my parents' house for dinner. David has been asking for a long time to see some baby pictures of me. I have a few toddler ones, but I hadn't gotten around to asking my parents if they could perhaps find my baby pictures. David really wanted to see them before Dorothy gets here, so last night the albums and the box were hunted out of the closet and we all rifled through the pictures together.
It was fun looking through all the pictures. One of the albums had all three of our pictures (my brother, sister and I) of the first few months of our lives. I was one chubby baby right from the start! Man alive those cheeks!!! There were a lot of pictures that were not in albums that spanned our early childhood so we looked through those, too.
It was a fun evening for me. This morning we got up and went to my appointment. Dr. F is out of town... actually out of country... so I saw his wife. They are both Perinatologists in the same office. She asked if there was anything I wanted to do. At first I was trying to figure out what she meant, but the more I thought, the more I realized she wanted to know if there was something I wanted to actually GO OUT and DO this week. Hmmmm, well, it didn't take long for David to pipe in and say, "go to a movie!" She said that was fine if we wanted to try that and see if I felt any different afterward and that it was normal to start testing the waters a bit more and gradually add some activity. So David and I are going to go on a real live date sometime this week! Maybe I can talk him in to taking me to dinner afterward. She just wanted us to make sure we didn't go out the night before my appointment as she laughed and said she didn't want to get in trouble with her husband if my cervix was shorter than normal. Evidently Dr. F was wondering how I was doing. He called the office to check on a few of the patients and asked specifically if I was still pregnant. That made me feel pretty good that he is a dr. that actually cares about his patients enough to think about them outside of work and check on them while he is in Europe. I knew I liked that man! So as of today, my cervix is still stable at 2.6 cm and Dorothy is still at her acrobatics because she flipped around again to a head-down position. So stay that way, baby!
16 comments:
I've just been lurking on your site, having wandered over here from a preemie blog. I just wanted to say that I admire your courage and positive outlook and I enjoy reading your updates. I'm so sorry that Kaily had to leave you so soon.
I'm currently pregnant with my second child and I've been on bedrest since 22 weeks (I'll be 29 weeks tomorrow!) -- I wouldn't wish bedrest on anyone but it is nice to know I'm not alone. My first baby was born prematurely at 27 weeks -- he had a rocky start in life, but today he's a happy, healthy 17-month-old little boy.
Congrats on making it this far -- I know I'm a total stranger, but I wish you the best and I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
A movie! That's so great!
The jealous thing I think is normal. I'm been trying to avoid babies around the same age Caleb was when he passed away. Holding someone else's baby just isn't the same as holding your own baby.
That is great!! It is normal for you to feel a little jealous so dont worry about it! Dorothy is going to get here safe and sound so you stay positive. Then you will have your own daughter to hold :)
YOu have fun on your date and then you can tell us all about it..lol
Ooo ooo a date! A movie. I am so excited for you. Please let us know how it goes. I am sure it will be a blast!
I think your nephew is just so sweet. Look at the cute face! Congrats Aunt Becci!
Congratulations--on the nephew, on the good appointment, on the real date, and on still being pregnant.
And I agree with everyone else that the jealousy is completely normal. I get jealous every time I hear of someone staying pregnant longer than the 31 weeks I was. I can't imagine the jealousy you must feel holding a baby that's not yours. At least you know that day you get to hold your own is fast approaching.
have a great time out this week! you look great by the way.
That is awesome news! I am so excited for you, for your date! I hope you guys have a great time.
There have been a number of evenings spent at my in-laws rifling through the boxes and albums of pictures from DH's early childhood. It is always a good time!
congrats on the new nephew! i felt like my niece and nephew were mine when they were born. such a great feeling. your baby girl will be here before you know it and you will be holding her and smelling her. hang in there. you look great! love the pic of you and your sister in law together. have fun on your date.
it is so normal to feel jealousy! it doesn't mean that you don't also wish for the best for your family. isn't that weird how you can have both feelings? enjoy your movie and yes! go to dinner. do do do it! you deserve to go.
I will tell you that I still ache with jealousy when ever I see a pregnant woman walking, it is so strange, but it was just something I did not get to do.
congrats on your nephew!! have fun at the movies!!
I love the belly pic! You look great. :)
I'm so excited for you that you get to go out in the real world on a real date :) Yayy, can't wait to read about it.
What movie are you going to see?
I understand how you feel about your doctor. I loved mine. She sat and cried with me when we had to decide to place an emergency cerclage or induce labor. These doctors are amazing people. I am glad you have someone who cares enough to call and check up on you.
And, yay, for still being pregnant!
It was great to have breakfast you you and David this morning, Becci, in a RESTAURANT! SITTING UP!!! Isn't it good to be able to sit up, get up, and have some freedom for a change! We so rarely get to see you eye to eye on the same level. Are you getting tired of people looking down at you. Not down ON you, mind you, down AT you!
You look great and the time is going to FLY by now, believe me! A crib has to happen. The dresser. Paint the room. Well, you can be up a LITTLE bit now, so you can be the directer of THE PROJECT.
Love mom
Awww, that sounds so wonderful! You are doing great.
Oh I understand about the being jealous thing.....I've been there , I still get jealous of "normal" everything....doing with babies, pregnancy, on and on. Congratulations for making it to 30!!!!! That's HUGE!! 32 was actually my personal goal, of course I only made it to almost 27. You are doing so great, and doing so much already for little Dorthoy.....Happy 4th to you!
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